Bukowski

This is an idea my friend Chris Pond had for a comedy "fanscript" of Cheers, starring a supremely disgruntled Charles Bukowski. I wrote out the beginning of the script.

FADE IN:

INT. BAR - DAY

CLIFF, FRASIER, CHARLES BUKOWSKI ARE SEATED AT THEIR USUAL PLACES. SAM AND WOODY ARE BEHIND THE BAR. CLIFF IS SCRATCHING HIS HEAD. NORM WALKS IN.

EVERYONE EXCEPT CHARLES BUKOWSKI
Hey Norm!

SAM
Hey Norm, how many beers does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

NORM
Prob-

CHARLES BUKOWSKI (exclaiming)
My wife left me. It's what I get for MARRYING A WHORE!

CHARLES BUKOWSKI THROWS HIS BEER ACROSS THE BAR TO THE FRONT DOOR. REBECCA WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR AT THE SAME TIME, AND IS STRUCK DEAD IN THE FACE AND KILLED.

OPENING CREDITS