Sa

What?! The Umps are on the field!!!!! They're umping the President's race?! George, Tom, Tom, George, Tom wins!!!!!!

Teddy looks deflated. That man created Yellowstone Park, and yet he can't win a footrace against an aged general with wooden teeth, the most raging libido to ever serve (so to speak) as president and a president who, admittedly, is probably a little aerodynamic with that big hole...nevermind.

Sic Semper Tyrannis!