Tales from the Whoa...

The Caps Eagle stopped by the ballpark for a little incestuous pizza delivery with his brother, Screech the Nats' Mascot.

Thesis: the Caps Eagle looks stoned.

Evidence:

 

"Dude, you got a fiver on you? I gotta get some marshmallows."

"Ugh...I can't stop wheezing."

"I'll sell it to you for twenty bucks or a McDonals' gift card. No, wait...

...

...

OR, a McDonalds' gift card."

Conclusion?