The president's race

There are pepperonis beating the presidents. Thanks, strange cat mascot, for knocking down those Pepperonis and giving Lincoln the win.  I suppose the Pizza toppings are supposed to be the British, and the strange cat is the French Armada, and Teddy Roosevelt represents the Pacifist rejection of war for Independence. What do the segway scooters represent?

Or-

Pirates lead the Nats by three, bottom of the third. We have two hits, and yet somehow Ohlendorfstein is going to get a perfect game out of this. I just know it.