So screw the cigarette.

I took a leak and grabbed a Sprite. Don't give me that, you wanted to know.

Still Kip Wells in, Ryan Howard at the plate.

At the start of the inning, the PA announcer said that there would be no Fireworks display because it's after 11 PM. People left in droves. DROVES. I'm sorry this isn't Magic Kingdom enough for you people, but there's still an extra-innings baseball game going on, and we could be headed to the greatest thing in sports, the position player Pitching. Nick Swisher performed (as) well (as can be expected for a normal ballplayer, which means he could start for the Yankees), and, oh man, there's one man left in the dugout. If I get to see Josh Bard, the one player left, pitch tonight, I'll die smiling.

It will be as good as the walkoff that I'll never, ever get to see.